I am single. It is not a disease, it is not life threatening and it does not define who I am as a person. Why do people feel the need to give you the “face” when they find out you are single? Or say things like, “Don’t worry, you will find someone really great”. I wasn’t worried about it......should I be? Is something really awful going to happen to me if I don’t?
The truth is – for me, for right now – I am more than ok with being single. I am starting to really enjoy the freedom, (I say that part very loosely as I have 2 kids, 2 exchange students, enough animals to make Dr. Doolittle cringe and a house that has far too many rooms in that need to be cleaned) and the independence that comes with being single. I don’t have to consult with anyone else before I make a decision around what’s for dinner or what to watch on TV, the kids would like to think they have a vote but I outrank them. If I want to leave a mountain of laundry piled up in the hallway, I can!
My weekends without kids are all about me and they are fabulous. I feel really bad for all of the mothers out there who don’t get every other weekend off, I don’t know how you do it. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children and I love spending time with them and I miss them when they are gone (most of the time) but I am starting to really love me again and I really enjoy my alone time. It isn’t all sunshine and roses, but nothing ever is; I have to kill the giant spiders, clean up the cat puke and I am solely responsible for changing the toilet paper roll. No one else sees the massive hairballs in the corners of the living room and most if not all of the “blue” jobs fall to me for action.
I can lie in bed all day and watch a marathon of the West Wing completely guilt free, no one gives me the “shouldn’t you get up and do something productive” look. I can eat cereal for dinner when I don’t feel like cooking – in my bed!! Hmmm, I am starting to sound a little like a crazy cat lady.... I get to go out with friends, and I have some truly amazing friends, there is almost always something going on and somewhere to go if I am feeling social or even lonely.
I have started swimming a couple times a week, I am ready to start riding again – I have wanted a horse my entire life and now we have one and I have yet to so much as sit on him, there is a set of stairs on the way to the barn that promise to give me a great ass if I come climb them on a regular basis, and a candle lit yoga class on Friday nights that takes all the stress of the week away.
I may even be ready to date again, but just date. And dating can be a lot of fun if you don’t take it too seriously and you aren’t looking for “the one”. I don’t feel that urge to find someone to complete me or make my life whole. I need to find that on my own and within myself. Looking to someone else to fill that void in your life will always be a temporary fix and it puts an incredibly unfair amount of pressure onto that person.
“Don’t worry, you will find someone really great” - I agree with that statement, but I think that really great person that I needed to find was me. After that everything else will fall into place as it should.
So while I appreciate the well wishes and I know it all comes from a place of love, please don’t worry about me ending up old and alone with 35 cats, I promise my limit is two;-)
Love you all,
Seanna xo
