*Disclaimer – before you go judging me on the content of this post, I have blocked it from my children*
I recently had this conversation with a gentleman (I use the term loosely I this case) who contacted me through an online dating site. It started out the way most conversation do, small talk, “hi, how are you” kind of stuff. He asked me what I was looking for, I told him that I wasn’t really sure, no real agenda in mind or a need to find “the one”, just checking things out, hoping to meet some new people, date and possibly get to know someone and see where things go….yadda yadda yadda. He said that was a great answer and that he was very much on the same page, if things became serious - bonus and that he was open to the possibilities. All sounds very promising hey? WRONG. The next words he said to me were these:
“So, what’s your bod like? Do you have nice boobs?”
Um….excuse me?
I stop and go back to his profile to confirm his age and he is in fact 38, not 17. Interesting.
At first I think I should just tell him to F*** off, and then block him from contacting me. But then I think, nope I am going to say what I really want to say:
“Do I have a nice bod and do I have nice boobs? - Well to be totally honest, I am curvy aka a little chubby and well, as for my boobs, they look an awful lot like balloons that got lost behind the couch for 3 months and are all deflated and wrinkly.”
His reply:
“Oh………….ok”
I don't think that was the answer he was hoping for...
And then me:
“I suspect we are looking for very different things here, good luck in your search. F*** off.”
Perhaps I was a tad harsh and bitchy and probably should have given him more credit for not wasting my time pretending he was interested in me as a person. Physical attraction is very important when you are dating someone and if a “nice bod” and a great rack are what’s most important to you then you should find out what you are dealing with right away. For me, findong someone who ranks very low on the douchebag scale is important and thankfully no time at all was wasted on this guy.
I have done the online dating thing a few times and can honestly say that it really hasn’t worked out for me yet I continually go back to it as I don’t really know how to meet people. My circle of friends is pretty tight and having grown up in Victoria, the dating pool is very small. Online dating has given me plenty of blogging material and several entertaining stories. My friends say I should write a book. There are several messages from men in their 20’s, some flat out saying they are looking for a “cougar”….seems to be a trendy thing these days, clearly one of them hooked up with a women in her late 30’s, early 40’s and reported back to his buddies that they were missing out. There are also a shocking number of men in “complicated” relationships. That’s code for douchebags with girlfriends or wives looking for someone to meet in a dark parking lot or at lunch while the wife is at work. Your relationship isn’t complicated, you’re an asshole. This isn’t information that is easily offered up either; it’s actually one of the key questions you have to ask:
1. Are you single?
2. Do you live with your ex-wife or ex-girlfriend?
3. Do you live with your mother?
4. Are you employed?
5. Do you have a valid driver’s licence or have you lost it for impaired driving?
6. Do you have a criminal record?
7. Is personal hygiene important to you?
I recently asked my Facebook friends and family how they met their significant others. The response was fantastic!!! Turns out only one person met their husband on a dating site. Most were high school sweethearts or had known each other since they were kids which I found to be really cool. Some met through friends, and others randomly, like on a street car. All of these people are in relationships I admire and aspire to find.
Online dating is not for me, I don’t have the thick skin required for it and I don’t think what I have to offer can be fairly portrayed on a website profile. I think I will leave it to chance for now. I will start going out more, trying to new things outside of my comfort zone and work on expanding my circle of friends. I do know I have to leave the house more on my kid free weekend because I am almost certain that someone new isn’t coming by the couch anytime soon.
Thanks for taking the time to read my rant – lots of love to you all.
Seanna
