Then I took a step back and realized that my kids have grown into these incredible human beings.
I used to agonize over Ashley, she was this quiet, timid, introverted kid who didn’t talk to anyone outside her family and even then, it was selective. She had very few friends and I was worried sick about her being isolated and lonely. Then she found horses and her world changed almost over night. She has grown into this secure, confident, fierce young woman who makes zero apologies for who she is and what she believes in. She has found her passion and her path in life and goes to work everyday happy and with her heart full. She once told me that being on the road at horse shows feels like being paid to be on vacation. She has the most incredible boss, who is so good to her. Ash works her ass off and she never complains about it because she truly loves what she does. She spends every day outside, with the animals she loves, surrounded by her kind of people and she is truly happy. She has found her heart horse and watching their relationship grow and evolve is incredible. She has her dogs and they get to come with her almost everywhere she goes. She isn’t going to make millions of dollars, but she gets up everyday and loves what she does. What more could you want for your daughter??
And then there is my Noah……Noah has tested me from the time he was 11 months old. He has challenged me and pushed me to my breaking point more times than I can count. When he was little he never had an emotion or feeling that he didn’t share with everyone around him and he shared it loudly. He struggled in school and with friends from the time he was in daycare. I got phone calls from his care providers almost daily. The schools wanted him tested, medicated. They insisted he have additional support in the school. He was bullied and tormented and my heart broke for him. There was a point where I wasn’t sure what to do or how we were going to get through it. Elementary school was not a good experience for either of us and it felt like it went on forever. Then he moved onto middle school at Dunsmuir and he found the music program and he found Karen Snowsell and the transformation started. Slowly at first but he was finding his place in the world. Music saved him and in turn it saved me. Middle school was not without its challenges, but he made friends and had finally found an activity that he truly enjoyed. Next came Royal Bay, Ms. Young and the Musical Theatre program and Noah found his calling. Not only did he love it, but he truly excelled. Watching him perform blew me away. His bravery and passion inspired me. To get up there and completely let himself go is incredible and I am so envious of his ability to do so. Earlier this year he spent a day at the Canadian College of the Performing Arts and when he came home he said he had found his people and the place he was supposed be at. There was no plan B. He had chosen this school and it was the only school he wanted to apply to. The ever-cautious mom in me was worried about him being rejected (I never doubted his talent, but hundreds of kids apply, and I knew there were only 40 spots), worried about how we would pay for it, worried that he didn’t have a back up plan. He wasn’t worried at all, he put his heart and soul into the audition and his mind was set on it. This past Friday he got the email he had been praying for, his acceptance into CCPA. He is over the moon happy and I don’t even have the words to express how proud I am of him. I truly believe this is just the beginning and he is going to go onto great things.
I may not have a house of my own or much in way of material things, but I have managed to raise two incredible human beings who are going out into the world with so much to offer and they both make the world a much better place. My heart is full and that is what truly matters.
