What's a Honey Wagon?

Well I have been here for just over 3 months. I really thought I would be blogging up a storm, but the truth is I have struggled to get things down in writing. So much has happened in the last few months that it is hard to articulate what the experience has been like so here goes, I apologize for any rambling and run on sentences.

I quit my very secure government job (with benefits and a pension).  I gave up my beautiful suite in Victoria and secured a room to sleep in when I come home to Victoria on my days off (that didn’t quite pan out, thanks Covid-19, more on that later). Sold pretty much everything I own, essentially evicting my 18 year old son and then squeeze what I can into my Kia Forte and head out to a town I’ve never been and know no one, to work as a contractor at a job I know less than NOTHING about. 

What can go wrong? Seems like a perfectly rational thing to do at 45 years of age.

I left for Quesnel at the beginning of March, one of my nearest and dearest friends joined me for the road trip. The 7-hour drive flew by thanks to the perfect weather, some pretty awesome tunes from the 70’s, the incredible scenery and the great company.

We arrived at the place I had rented and were greeted by Dot, landlady extraordinaire. She had a welcome basket full of local goodies for me, gave us the quick and dirty lowdown on the suite and then left us to settle in. To say I was pleased with the place was an understatement. It was and is the cutest little place I have lived in (and the place I just moved out of was great). It has everything I could possibly need and is loaded with charm. It is just rural enough to be peaceful but still only 10 minutes from town and 10 minutes from my work site. Bonus – Dot lived right next door and has a dog. ** Dot has since moved across town to their other property and Burt has been replaced by the Assistant Chief Inspector from site who refuses to come over and lay at my feet while I read. Jerk. **

Quesnel was cold when I got here, full on winter, but don’t worry, it’s a dry cold……

I spent the weekend getting settled in, Jenn and I explored Quesnel a little bit and then it was time for her to fly home. There were some tears shed when I dropped her off at the airport, lots of them.

All in all, I was comfortable, I loved my place, I loved the town so far and was very optimistic about what lay ahead.

Silly girl.

5 days later, Covid-19 was a pandemic and the town essentially shut down. Thanks universe and fuck you too. Relocating to a town you have never been to right smack in the middle of a pandemic is not something I would recommend.

When I left Victoria and said goodbye to my peeps, it wasn’t a huge deal because I was going to be home again in a month. Well a month turned into almost 3 months, my flights were cancelled, the Quesnel airport closed and everyone I knew was quarantined. My first set of 8 days off arrived and I was DEPRESSED. Anxious about how I was going to kill 8 days all alone, with nowhere to go and no one to see. Turns out, nothing to be anxious about. I LOVE living alone.

Like really love it. The house stays clean after I clean it, and when I go to work in the morning, it is in the same condition I left it in when I get home. Want to binge watch 35 episodes of a show on Netflix without judgement or guilt? Go for it, no one cares.  Eat cereal for dinner? Have at ‘er. No one is asking what’s for dinner. 

I have never lived alone before this and if I have one piece of advice for you, it is this – live alone at least once in your life.

Burt became my best friend and would come hang out most nights after work until bedtime. He is excellent company. Everything is better with a dog. Period.

Ok well I guess we should talk about the job since it is the reason I am here. There may have been some growing pains. Anyone who tries to tell you there isn’t any crying in construction is lying to you. There was plenty of crying. For a few weeks I was pretty sure I had made a terrible mistake and would never, ever be up to speed. I don’t think I am fully up to speed yet, but the crying has stopped so that’s a bonus. Despite the rough and muddy start, I am really enjoying the job. It is always interesting, I am learning every day and just when I think I have things figured out, something new pops up and I am reminded that the guys I am working with have forgotten more about this work than I will ever learn. They are all amazing, and although picking on me seems to be very popular, they are so patient with me and the days fly by.

Lessons learned the hard way include but are not limited to:

• You must look what you are stepping down onto when getting out a vehicle when it is still winter. I was slow to learn that lesson and landed on my ass more then once.  Not the west coast here and there is a good chance you are going to step out onto a patch of ice. One of those graceful falls did result in me getting upgraded to the best hotel room available in Prince George, so it really wasn’t all bad. I mean come on, who doesn't want a night in PG's finest hotel room?
• When driving through socked in fog at 5:30am – turn off your high beams.
• When the temperature rises to 0 degrees there is a good chance the frozen ground at site has become mud. Don’t drive into it and try and back up. Your Kia Forte cannot handle it. They now call me Mud Bog at work. I also no longer drive a Kia Forte. There may have been crying.
• Learning a new job is hard as fuck at 45 years of age. Construction is like trying to learn a new language. With mud, lots and lots of mud.
• Always take the tags off your work boots before showing up at site with them. Maybe rub some dirt on them as well.
• Mealtime on site is serious business. No tuna sandwiches here. Be prepared to really step up your game when it comes to meals.
• Having a close friend become your boss is a tough transition. Really tough. More crying involved here.
• When the job description only has 4 bullets and one of them is “assist Site Chief”, seek clarity on what that entails. Maybe negotiate the “cleaning out the site fridge” clause.
• There is a lot of swearing. You can tell your boss to go fuck himself and not get fired. So far, I am still employed.
• People that work in construction are one of two things; insanely brilliant or they are so far from brilliant that you become very concerned that they are allowed to operate heavy equipment. There doesn’t seem to be much of an in between.
• A honey wagon is not even close to as pleasant as it sounds. Google it. Barf.
• The rumor that guys use the women’s bathroom to poop seems to be true.

Covid restrictions are starting to ease up a bit, I have been able to get out and explore the town and its community and so far, the people I have met are lovely and welcoming. I am looking forward to having my friends and family come see me this summer and exploring the area even more.  I love the small-town feel, and the small-town perks, like pulling into the Purolator parking lot and the lovely woman that works there already has my parcel her hands because she recognizes my car. That might be less small town and more online shopping addiction but whatever, I am pretending it is a small-town thing.

I am very popular with the Quesnel RCMP. They have flagged me down twice now. Really friendly guys. Here is another lesson for you; cruise control is your friend on Hwy 97.

I miss my people, some days so much I ache but I am also really enjoying hanging out with myself. I have struggled with how to put this into words without hurting anyone’s feelings, so I am just going to do my best and apologize in advance if it doesn’t come out quite right.

I am a nurturer; I thrive on taking care of people. I don’t do much without thinking about someone else first, how my actions could impact them, what if I upset them or disappoint them blah blah blah. I have some huge guilt over leaving my kids (my adult kids) and feel “selfish” taking this job BUT I am learning to acknowledge those feelings, then let them go. The hardest days for me are when someone I love is hurting and I am too far away to do anything about it. That helpless feeling is awful.

 This was the right move for me. My insomnia is pretty much gone, I have been devouring books for the first time in years. My mind is quieter. My anxiety is almost non-existent. I miss my family and my besties every single day, but the beauty of my relationships is that they transcend distance and time.  For the most part I feel grounded and content. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t all sunshine and roses and I absolutely have bad days, but I don’t have that same restless, unsettled feeling that has been gnawing at me for the last few years. I feel like I can hear my own voice. I am comfortable in the quiet.  It doesn’t mean I love anyone any less, it just means I am starting to love me.

A huge thank you to all of you that have supported and loved me unconditionally through this transition. I truly have the best people in my corner.

Love you all to the moon and back.

xo

Seanna